By Nate Odenkirk, Ari Mostow, and Nathan Mostow | Staff Writers
Consistently ranked amongst the most recognizable Swedish discount furniture outlets, Ikea is a worldwide sensation. But how did this come to be? Read this short but comprehensive timeline below.
Excavations at early human settlements have unearthed Allen wrenches made of bone next to instructive cave paintings.
The Pyramids at Giza are purchased as a set from Ikea. The Pharaoh, believing he can build them without help, eventually gives up after an hour and just has slaves do it.
Italian explorer Marco Polo travels to the Ikea food court and tries swedish meatballs. He returns to his home country with the food, and meatballs become a national dish in Italy (though the lingonberry sauce does not catch on).
Thomas Edison invents the lightbulb, paving the way for the SKURUP™ 15” Pendant Lamp.
The famed Navajo “code talkers” military unit successfully decodes the names of the supposedly unbreakable Ikea furniture catalog. The code talkers decipher Nazi communiques while they’re at it.
Sweden’s monarchy exchanged at returns desk for a parliamentary democracy (PARLIMENSKA™).
Previously unknown indigenous tribe discovered living deep within the outdoor patio section.
Malaysia Flight 370 lost somewhere in the vast expanse of an Ikea parking lot. Investigators have yet to locate the plane, though they did find a great deal on soap dispensers.
Ikeas become safe havens from the nuclear apocalypse, promising food and shelter at incredible prices. ♦
Image by @famousronsoriginal