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Trump: I Would Never Talk About Soldiers the Way I Talk About Poor People

By Nathan Mostow | Staff Writer

In a public statement this morning, representatives from the White House vehemently denied reports that President Trump called deceased soldiers “losers” and “suckers.”

“The president would never speak about soldiers in the same way he speaks about poor people, elderly people, women, immigrants, protected minorities, school shooting survivors, disabled people, and members of his own family,” said press secretary Kayleigh McEnany. “This group is different, for some reason. We promise!”

McEnany also pushed back against the observation that Trump has mocked soldiers in the past, particularly John McCain, who he famously called a “loser” for “getting captured.” “The report says that the president called dead and injured soldiers ‘losers,’ but in the past, he has firmly maintained that only captured soldiers are losers,” she clarified.

In a late-night tweet, Trump bashed mainstream news outlets that picked up the story: “Fake news media & Dems say I called soldiers bad names. At worst, some vets are gross (amputees) but I am not a name caller! Anyone who says otherwise is a pig.”

At press time, however, Trump coyly admitted that he did indeed call the soldiers “suckers” and “losers,” because “that was last week and nobody gives a shit anymore, I guarantee you.”

Thank you for reading!
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