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Picasso: I’m No Artist

By Pablo Picasso | Guest Writer

The Inquirist has obtained an impressive and historic collection of art (gallery invitations) from an unnamed philanthropist. The following is a letter from Pablo Picasso—by then a world-renowned painter—to mark the unveiling of “Bust of Man With Cigarette II” (1964).

picasso 1

Hey everybody, it’s me, sorry to bother everyone but I have a new thing I’ve been getting into recently. For those of you who don’t know, I’m trying my hand at painting now, and I have a chance this Wednesday to showcase some of my work at the local gallery (thank you Maxine!) Of course, you’re all invited. Please come! Admission is free. Now, it of course won’t be just my painting. They’re looking to get a wide range of talented artists from the community (I was selected from the 55+ age range…never too old, right? haha) so I’m not sure where in the gallery my painting will be but I was one of the last to sign up so probably towards the back, by the bathroom is a good guess.

Now, it of course won’t be just my painting.

I decided to go with a totally new painting, none of you have ever seen it before. Well, if you came by my flat last week, it was this one that I kept obsessing over. Guilty as charged! Look, It’s not great. I’m not too good at this, and I know that people really take this art seriously. But I’m really just doing this for fun. Please don’t come in expecting some Matisse or Van Gough quality, okay? Just because it’s in a gallery doesn’t mean it’s top notch. I’ll be the first to admit that. If you’re dying to see the new painting, here she be:

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I know what you’re going to say. I did go outside the box with this one. I have no idea what I was thinking with that shirt! I need to go over it again. And the hair is a mess. And he’s just ugly in general. But I really have come to like it! Some of it, anyway. I may call it Man with Cigarette, not sure… It’s very, very similar to my last one that I also called Man with Cigarette. I would change the name of the last one, but I’ve already used up my felt tip pens. Oh well.

Of course, I will be there! And I would really appreciate it if some of you came down to show your support for this. I know I’m going out on a limb here—I’m no artist (yet, anyway)—but come down and have some fun with me! It would mean a lot. You’ll also probably love some of the other artists, there’s this one kid, he’s in his 30s, that does this amazing tower, just made out of paper cups! Incredible! So this art gallery thing won’t be a complete waste of your time. He’s getting prime placement in the gallery, so you for sure won’t miss him.

-P ♦

Nate Odenkirk can’t wait to see the cups exhibit in action.

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