Trump: I Haven’t Forgotten About Greenland

By President Donald J. Trump | GUEST WRITER

Donald J. Trump is a television character and 45th President of the United States.

My fellow Americans,

A few months ago, said I wanted to buy the island of Greenland from the person who owns it. Many bad people in the media dismissed it, and said it was a joke. But the media, as it turns out, folks, the real news is bad for them, because Greenland is… We’re still talking about Greenland. 100%. Remember Greenland? What the Democrats did with the impeachment hoax was very dishonest, and unfair quite frankly. They did it to try and distract me from my plan to buy Greenland, which is a great plan.

I say lots of things, great things, all the time, but this one ‘Greenland’ thing has been all anyone’s ever talked about since I brought it up.

I say lots of things, great things, all the time, but this one ‘Greenland’ thing has been all anyone’s ever talked about since I brought it up. I spend night after night outside of Melania’s bedroom looking at fast facts of this very interesting country. And it’s very interesting, folks. You won’t believe it when you see where Greenland is on a map, but it’s true. People are saying that Greenland is over there, up in… North. Not true. It’s a massive lie. And it’s very sad to see these people get away with the lies about Greenland, so I’ll be setting the record straight, believe me. We’ll be setting the record straight.

Wouldn’t that be so nice? We could have a brand-new beautiful flag, with the most stars anyone’s ever had on it. 51 stars, so many. But now, because of me, they’re saying we could have 55, maybe… 55 stars on the flag. 55 flags, even.

Once my administration and I have Greenland done, and we have Greenland, we can move on to the next thing on my list of promises. We’re still on track to doing the most accomplishments, especially when it comes to Greenland. I promise you, we will get to do all of my ideas. Next up will be a very interesting report on Biden’s son Hunter, Hunter Biden, we were working on back in September. I think you’ll be very surprised at what we find.

God Bless You, and God Bless The United Shtates.

President Trump ♦


Nate Odenkirk is proud of Greenland.