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Report: My Prism’s Broken

By Bradley Andersteen | Guest Writer


Bradley Andersteen is an impatient tenth grader at Horse Mann High School. His stepdad owns a local cement company.

Boy this is one for the books! I am pretty steamed right now. Our physics teacher, Ms. Portly, is making us do a thing on “light” or whatever and he gave our group a glass thing that’s supposed to put out a rainbow or something. Well it’s not working! I need a new one, mine must be broken. Mary’s group got theirs working so why can’t I do it? Can we just trade prisms, just so you can see what I’m talking about?

God, I’m so frickin’ PISSED! Shoot! Science sucks!

What’s the point? My dad is gonna give me a cushy job throttling the cement mixers. It’s so easy. All you do is just push a button and you can Juul all day. He lets me be on my phone the whole time, too. He’s not my real dad, though.

Ugh, it’s so broken. Why would the teacher give me one that’s broken? I’m putting it into the light in like 500 different ways so far and I’m still not seeing a rainbow, let alone the spectrum of colors I was promised. Can I have a new one? NO, don’t show me how to do it. I already know it’s broken so you won’t make it work. I’ll hold it.

Oh, wait, there we go. Nevermind it’s working again. I just fixed a broken prism! I must be really cut out for science! I can’t wait to go home and tell my dad that I can do science and that I won’t have to spend the whole summer at his stupid jobsite. Everyone there stinks. And he’s not actually my dad. My real dad died in a tugboat accident.

I’m going to the bathroom to Juul for awhile. Cover for me, will ya? I can show you how I did it if you do the assignment for me. Just keep the prism here and tell Ms. Portley that we’re done with the project. Don’t move it out of the light or it’ll be broken again and I’ll have to ask for another one. ♦

Fun fact: Nate Odenkirk got a B- in 10th grade chemistry.

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