U.N. List Of Acceptable Jokes (Updated For 2020)

By Billy O’Handley | GUEST CONTRIBUTOR

A black man, an Asian man, and a Jew walk into a bar. The bartender says “This is entirely unsurprising, as having friends of varied ethnicities is commonplace. I actually didn’t even notice their ethnic makeup until you pointed it out.” Then, the three good friends had a euroditic dialouge about the place of women in the orthodox sect, balancing tradition and gender rights.

An American, a Mexican, and an Italian are on a hot air balloon. Suddenly, the balloon begins to sink, and they each realize that they have to throw something off in order to make the balloon lighter. The Italian throws off a plate of spaghetti, saying “We have too many of these in our country!” The Mexican throws off a taco, saying “We have too many of these in our country!” The American, realizing that his co-pilots have given up their lunches, decides to share his, a plate of Injera (Ethiopian bread) from this really good place down the street from him, with them. The Mexican and Italian, whose names are Greg and David respectively, thank the American (José) for his kindness. Then, Greg and José discuss their identities as immigrants as the balloon sails off into the distance.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a hardware store. The three women, who are in a polyamorous relationship together, discuss the best tiling for their new bathroom. Then the blonde makes a joke about relativistic physics (they were all in the same lab at MIT), and they share a beautiful moment of laughter.

So this black guy challenges a white guy to a game of basketball. The white guy is ecstatic: his adoptive father is about to teach him how to play basketball! The father-son bonding goes exactly as planned, and the ties of their relationship are made ever stronger.

What’s the difference between a bench and a Mexican? Mexicans are people who have a rich cultural heritage and have contributed major advancements to the world in areas from the technological to the culinary, while you can purchase a bench at IKEA.

A Muslim chick walks into a car dealership in Saudi Arabia. While an occasion like this would be commonplace in most any other nation in the world, here it’s momentous, as Saudi Arabia only recently lifted their ban on woman drivers. As the transaction goes through, and the woman drives off the lot in her brand new Huyandi Sonata, her eyes begin to well up with tears. This simple act of driving her own brand-new car off the lot is a symbol, a symbol of all the work she and millions of others have done around the world to promote equality.

Women drivers, am I right? ♦