By Nate Odenkirk & Jack Shaw | STAFF AND GUEST WRITERS
Our smartphones are the biggest threat to divert our attention from the road. In 2017, the US Department of Transportation recorded over 3,000 deaths from car crashes caused primarily by distracted driving. Many drivers cave to the temptation to check social media, respond to emails or texts, or even write an article for an important magazine read by dozens of smart folk, while driving.
How can we, as a society, fix this increasingly deadly problem of our diverted attention? The answer is quite simple. Plan ahead. Let your friends know that you’ll be driving, and not to expect an immediate response to their oh-so-important queries. Sign out of Facebook and you’ll be less tempted to sign back in while navigating the busy streets. Write the article before you leave, instead of on the ride over to the editor’s office… you had three days to do this, after all. And it could’ve been about anything. But now you’re rushing to fill the 500-word minimum, and all you can think of is why texting and driving is bad. Of course it’s bad, Einstein! What a fountain of knowledge you are, alerting the masses that looking down at your phone is going to kill them. Duh! New Paragraph!
And Siri isn’t much better, either. I’m trying to get Siri. SIRI. ACTIVATE NOW… PLEASE. This is a real pain in the ass. Siri is putting this in the Notes app and it won’t let me change the font. How do I change the font?!? It’s like I wrote this on a chalkboard, and I can totally tell it’s not picking up everything I’m saying because… text shows up… and you have no idea! New Paragraph!!
Google Maps is now saying I’m gonna be late. Great. I’ll just let the bossman know… “lots of traffic. Will b there ASAP. Can’t wait to show you new piece! Send” What are these features? How do I tell Google to turn off voice? What the hell are these settings? No. Yes. Off. OFF. Turn left? Where? Ah, red light! Red light! Sorry! My bad! Sheesh, that was a close one. Where is it saying I should turn? There’s no road there! How do I read this thing? Oh, the garage.
End note. Call Boss. No1 Not Bob, BOSS. YES. ♦