Joke at Funeral Kills

By Nate Odenkirk | STAFF WRITER

Editorial apology: The Inquirist would like to apologize for the tasteless and misleading headline. A pun is probably not appropriate in these circumstances. Further, it suggests the joke told at the funeral was great, and that no one was killed. We meant to convey the opposite message.  One person was killed, and the joke wasn’t very good. Unfortunatley, there’s no way to change the title.

LOS ANGELES— A dime-a-dozen funeral last week turned gloomy after a friend of the deceased made a bad joke in his eulogy. In a possibly related incident, a grieving attendee died on the spot at the moment the joke bombed. “There were two tragedies that happened at the funeral,” said Davis Whittier, who was a cousin of the originally deceased. “The joke was horrible, which was bad enough, but then also the silence after was so awkward. It’s also very sad that someone died, but, I mean, that was really weak set… my family and I came out to have a good time. Show up with good jokes to these things—this isn’t an open mic.”

Others were more charitable. “Look, no one’s good up there. It can be very emotional, and we have to support our colleauge through challenging times, like when a joke falls flat,” said Reverend Rhys Fowler. Rev. Fowler hosted the service, and performs weekly sets at First Covenant Church. “That joke was a total dud. It sucked. The heavenly father forgives, but the audience does not. You have to keep that in mind when you’re testing out new material.”

The medical examiner was not conclusive in determining cause of death. “The joke itself could certainly have caused cardiac arrest if the person had a weak heart and a great sense of humor,” noted M.E. Dr. Miranda Holen, who also opens for acts Wednesday nights at Chucklie’s, a local comedy club. “On the other hand, the silence can be fatal to anyone in the room, regardless of whether they have good taste in comedy. Until we can access his Netflix history, it’s a tossup.”

Both funeral proceedings will be postponed until the eulogist who bombed works out a “tight five.” ♦