〉By Anonymous | GUEST CONTRIBUTOR
This source, received by Ari Mostow, requests his identity be withheld.
Dear American people,
I’m sure you’ve Heard their is a Big Parade coming up to celebrate
myself the president on July Forth. It will be Fun and the greatest ever. Their will be super big tanks and even arplanes to. I hear the #1 president worked very very hard on this. You can even bring your family and they will all love the celibrations for America. I promise. Please come.
PS If you show up, I bet the president made brownies the night before and he might give you one if you come. ♦