Stop Stealing Our Pillow Mints

〉By Carl Harsley, CEO of La Quinta Inn | GUEST CONTRIBUTOR

To Our Valued Guests:

It has come to my attention that many of the mints we place on pillows of recently cleaned rooms are stolen, and many are eaten on the spot. Needless to say, I’m incredibly disappointed and I ask for your sincere effort in getting these mints returned to us ASAP. I got into hospitality to give our customers a great stay at a great price, but this has gone way too far.

I get it: mints are delicious. But we need them more than you do. The mints are placed there for us to know that we cleaned your room, and we fully expect the mints to be returned at check-out. ONLY in cases of dire emergency, like a flood, can the mints be used for consumption once all other food sources have been exhausted. Even then, we’ll add the charge to your bill.

Our proud chain of La Quinta (‘the mint’) hotels was founded with an emphasis on guest experience and the idea that an individual could be trusted to keep his or her hands off our tiny mints. These mints ain’t cheap, folks. Lately, we’ve had to shut off the electricity in many of our budget suites to offset the cost of the pillow mint theft.

You—each and every one of you—are cowards. Do you want to steal my mints? Fine. But don’t take them from the hotel beds…that’s too easy. If you want my mints, break into my house, enter my bedroom, and get them yourself. Come on, I dare you. I’ll be waiting.

Thank you. Enjoy your stay. —Carl. ♦

Nate Odenkirk is not welcome back at any La Quinta Inn location.