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First Encounters of the Casual Kind

<em><b><center>First Encounters of the Casual Kind</em></b></center>

<em><b><center>Store Inside Store Opens</em></b></center>

Store Inside Store Opens

<em><b><center>Nation to Begin Therapy</em></b></center>

Nation to Begin Therapy

<em><b><center>Supreme Court Rules Precedents Can Be Overturned in 192nd Trimester</em></b></center>

Supreme Court Rules Precedents Can Be Overturned in 192nd Trimester

<em><b><center>Fatal Car Crash Leaves Hundreds Slightly Inconvenienced</em></b></center>

Fatal Car Crash Leaves Hundreds Slightly Inconvenienced

<em><b><center>America Invades Caribbean Nation Just to Cheer Up</em></b></center>

America Invades Caribbean Nation Just to Cheer Up

<em><b><center>Anti-Vaxxer Soccer Game Ruined by Moving Goalposts</em></b></center>

Anti-Vaxxer Soccer Game Ruined by Moving Goalposts

Breaking News:

Geometry Teacher Brings in Real Life Triangle from Home
Area Man Proud He Sat Through Entire Movie
Pope Bored
Report: Polls Show Graphs, Bars Which Indicate Preferences

Geometry Teacher Brings in Real Life Triangle from Home
Area Man Proud He Sat Through Entire Movie
Pope Bored
Report: Polls Show Graphs, Bars Which Indicate Preferences